Mother’s Day: what mom really wants
Yesterday, prompted by my husband, our five year old asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. At a loss for any ideas, I realized that by this time in years past, my inbox and FB feed would be flush with retailers pushing their goods on me and yet this year things feel eerily quiet. I googled “Mother’s Day 2020” for the obligatory Top 10 gifts for Mom lists. . . and in light of the current pandemic, nothing on those lists feels relevant.
My guess is most moms feel the same way. If we are among the blessed to have our family in good health, for most of us that is enough. But since the family is asking, what DO we moms want this year for Mother’s Day?
A Break. We just want a few hours to catch our breath and not have to constantly be thinking about what’s next. If for one day (or ok lets be real, a couple hours) we could be free of these things, I know I personally would feel mentally and physically rejuvenated. And to all the single mamas out there, my hat is off to you. I truly hope you have a network of extended family and friends to help you celebrate the amazing mother you are.
Decision Making
The minute our brains are conscious in the morning, moms are making decisions constantly. What’s for breakfast? Who’s doing what call from where? What are the summer plans? Where is it safe to venture outside? What can kids do to burn off energy? “Yup, that’s right. We love our kids. We love our partners. But dammit, we are all in 364 days of the year, so for one day, we want to be out,” amen Andrea Rhoades creator of Selfies to Selfess and contributor at Scary Mommy!
The list is endless. Please, don’t ask me what I want to eat or do on Mother’s Day. I actually don’t really care what it is. . . as long as it’s with you and I don’t have to plan or execute it, I will love it.
Running Interference
With everyone home all day, everyday, it’s all too easy to step on each others’ toes and ruffle each other’s feathers. And if like me you have more than one child, at least once an hour you are being made aware of a grave injustice or acting as referee. Let your partner and kids know that for this day, you are neither judge nor referee and all complaints must be submitted in writing for review on the next business day! Producer David Kestenbaum from This American Life explained how teachers at his sons’ preschool installed a “tattle phone” where kids could register their complaints about each other. David rigged it up to record those complaints and document the unfairnesses of preschool. For young kids, I loved this idea of a tattle phone.
Family
Ok, usually us moms want more quality family time, and Mother’s Day is a fantastic opportunity for that…but in light of the current shelter at home, we have been seeing a lot of our kids. So maybe this year, we take a mini escape to the spa (aka bathroom) and treat ourselves to a long soak and read more than the same one page of our bookclub book.
Chores
You know what’s more gratifying than having your family do their chores? Having them do their chores without being reminded. This one might require a prompt the night before, but it will be worth it to see the trash cans emptied, the dishwasher running and the bedrooms tidied without uttering a word.
An early/good night’s sleep
Moms, this one is crucial to feel the day was a success and to feel fueled for the week ahead. Even if nothing else happens according to plan, put the kiddos to bed early and then proceed to tuck yourself in. Spend a moment reflecting on gratitude and all you are thankful for. My friend Jen reminded me that “when the children are squabbling, be thankful you have children to love.“
I wish you all a wonderfully joyous Mother’s Day.
We would love to hear your thoughts about how to make great Mother’s Day. Tag us on @TryVerima with your list